The Slightest Chance
by xXDonnaTylerXx
Summary: She'd assumed he'd react like he always does, by screwing anything that moves - It's what she's done, after all. But since their split,to Robin's dismay, it seems Barney has done quite the opposite. AU after The Rough Patch, Barney/Robin.
1. Magic Number

This is my first story for How I Met Your Mother, I've only started watching recently at the end of series four and desperately trying to catch up on boxsets now :) But the first thing I noticed about the whole show was the quite simply amazing chemistry between Robin and Barney, _gutted _when they broke up, and so this is my dealing with that. Not sure entirely where I'm going with this yet but thought I'd give it a try, any reviews letting me know what you thought would be very very much appreciated. This is set a few weeks after The Rough Patch, ignoring whatever else happened in the show after that. Hope you enjoy, please review!

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Chapter One - Magic Number

_Kids, as the cautionary tale of Aunt Robin and myself demonstrates, dating one of your closest friends can be a struggle. But, as she and your Uncle Barney demonstrated, what's even more of a struggle is breaking up with them. See, they'd convinced themselves that it was a mutual, friendly split, that they could be mature about the whole situation..._

"Are we breaking up?"

"I think so." Barney sighed, his expression full of regret, "Ah crap, here comes the next part. The part where you and I can't go back to being friends."

"Well, maybe this isn't a breakup." She reasoned, almost trying to convince herself as well as him, "Maybe this is... Two friends, getting back together."

__

...But as it turned out, Barney had been right the first time. Now kids, everyone has different ways of dealing with a breakup, be it Uncle Marshall's sixty plus days in his sweatpants, your Aunt Lily fleeing to San Fransisco, or that one crazy time your mother and I split for a couple days, when- You know what, I'll get to that part later. Back to Barney and Robin...

**Six Weeks Later**

"Have you finished this page yet, Marshmallow?" Lily asked innocently, her finger holding down the page of the book between them.

"Not yet baby, just give me a second. I'm on the third to last paragraph now..."

"Seriously, you guys." Ted sighed from the couch, raising his eyebrows, "I can just about understand you wanting to read the same book at the same time, but would it be that much of a stretch to buy two copies?"

Lily looked puzzled, "But then we might not get to the same sections at the same time, and we'd end up telling each other-"

"And she's got it in the bag!" Robin swept into she and Ted's apartment, cutting Lily off mid sentence with a triumphant grin on her face, "No autographs today folks, my hand is quite sore enough - and I am _not_ telling you why - but any gifts and cash rewards would be much appreciated."

"What are you talking about, sweetie?" Lily asked mildly, "And... Why have you got your shirt on inside out?"

Robin glanced down, "Damnit! So that guy on the subway wasn't checking out my boobs. I did wonder why he was laughing..." She dropped down on the couch next to Ted, who rolled his eyes, "I just snuck out of some guy's apartment while he was in the shower."

"Another one?"

"Robin, how many-"

"Fifteen. In one month." She grinned, "I know, right? I'm winning this one hands down."

"This... what?" Ted asked, as Marshall finally looked up from his and Lily's book, proudly announcing "Done!" Before a confused expression took over, "Wait, what's happening?"

"Robin's just come from some guy's apartment." Lily told him in hushed tones, as he raised his eyebrows.

"Another one? Dude, that's gotta be fifteen this month."

"Um... Thanks for paying that much attention, I guess." Robin furrowed her brow slightly aong with Ted and Lily before continuing, "Anyway, I was just saying I've definitely won this one."

"This what?"

"The breakup! There's no way Barney can top me here, I mean I'm on fifteen now. How many times has he hooked up now, four? Five at the most?"

Lily bit her lip as Ted raised his eyebrows at her, knowing exactly what he was trying to say.

__

Lil, what do we do? Do we tell her?

Ooh, I don't know, this is big. Baby, what do you think?

We have to tell her, you guys.

But Marshmallow, this whole thing's clearly affected Robin more than we thought! If she finds out, this could make her worse.

Or make her see the error of her ways. Guys, I dated this girl for a year, I know how her mind works. If we keep this from her, she'll flip when she finds out.

As Robin spoke, she could instantly tell that something was up. She may have been part of the group for the least amount of time, but she wasn't stupid enough to miss a three way telepathic conversation such as the one currently taking place between Lily, Ted and Marshall. She'd always found it kind of strange when they did that, until the first time it had happened between she and Barney.

It had been four years ago, around a month since she'd started hanging out with them, and she'd casually glanced over the table only to find, to her surprise, that she knew exactly what he was thinking by just the slightest changes in his expression. They'd always had it, this crazy connection, as much as they'd both tried to ignore it. Just as right now, Robin was trying to ignore quite how much she missed it.

"Um, guys? I said what's his magic number these days, five? Six?"

"Actually, um... One."

"_One?" _Robin spluttered, "No need to exaggerate for the sake of my feelings here, guys. Come on, this is _Barney_! Besides, I know you're lying, I've seen him at least four times with girls since we broke up."

"Yeah, but Robin-" Ted tried, before sighing as his friend, now well into the nervous, babbling, ignoring-any-other-input stage that was _so _Robin, cut him off.

"In fact, it was just this morning that I saw him with a girl," She reasoned, forcing herself not to admit that that had been the main reason she'd gone out and jumped the next guy she met, "They were walking across the street from me, and she had the new Marc Jacobs handbag, you know that oversized brown one with the bow? Which I've been looking for for weeks, so of course I was super jealous-"

"Yeah, Robin." Lily scoffed, "I'm sure it was the bag hanging off her arm that got you jealous, and not the fact that she had Barney Stinson hanging off the other-"

"And in _fact,_" Robin was breathing heavily now, determinedly blanking her friends' input, "I saw him with another girl who had that bag about two and a half weeks ago, coming out of MacLaren's. I swear Barney must be getting gayer, if he's now selecting his hookups based on their choice of purse-"

"ROBIN!" It was only the conjoined, frustrated voices of Marshall, Lily and Ted that could finally silence her.

"For god's sake sweetie, you need to listen to us!" Cried an exasperated Lily, "It's all the same girl! We've been trying to tell you, Barney brought her to MacLaren's for the first time three weeks ago and they'd already been seeing each other about a week by then... You would have known about this, Robin, they come to the bar all the time but you're never there any more, you're more likely to be out in some club picking up a guy."

"So..." Robin bit her lip slightly, her eyes moving as she tried to digest what she'd just heard. Finally, she looked up at her friends, "So this girl uses the same handbag every day? God, what a-"

There was a collective sigh from Ted, Marshall and Lily as they simultaneously dropped into the seat nearest to them, hands to their heads.

"Seriously?" Ted managed, "We're sitting here telling you that Barney's been seeing the same girl for a month and _that_'s what you picked up on?"

But it seemed they had finally managed to stun Robin into silence as she sank back into the sofa, her expression one of confusion and forlorn as she forced out, "I, um... Is she...?"

"Her name's Mary Jane." Lily provided, and was met with an "ugh" of disgust. Robin layed her head on Ted's shoulder, who wrapped an arm around her, "She's twenty eight, English, moved to New York a year ago, red hair..."

"_Ugh! _She sounds disgustingly lovely." Robin declared, "So what's she like?"

"Oh, a total bitch." Came the response from the other three, once again in unison and just a little too quickly to seem natural.

"Come on, you guys," Robin managed a small smile, "You don't have to do that."

"Oh, sweetie, I wanna tell you she's the spawn of Satan, I really do." Lily gushed woefully, "But she's just... Normal. And nice. Which _sucks._"

"It really does," Marshall agreed, but she shook her head.

"No, guys, come on." Robin detached herself from Ted and sat up, "Let's look at this objectively. What you're telling me is that Barney has dealt with this breakup in a mature way and not rushed into a hundred other girls' pants?"

"Yeah."

"And he's met someone who he's been seeing for almost a month, who he genuinely likes, who everyone gets on with and who he could be considering something long term with?"

"Yep."

"And he seems calm, and happy, and doing well with pretty much every aspect of his life...?

"Yeah." Marshall told her a little guiltily.

"Ah, crap." Robin sighed, bringing a hand to her chin as her expression became one of deep thought and her eyes took on a scheming look.

"I have to put a stop to this."


	2. Proud Of It

Hi everyone, can I say a big thank you to my reviewers! The comments for the first chapter were lovely :) Hope you enjoy this one as much. I'm going away for a week tomorrow so there'll be no new chapter for a little while. Please let me know what you thought of this in the meantime though!

Donna xx

PS Catch-up wise, I'm up to the series 4 episode "Benefits" - Barney smashing the TVs up out of jealousy is adorable! B/R kicks Ted/Robin's arse every time :D

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Chapter Two – Proud Of It

_And so kids, your Aunt Robin thought about how she could put an end to Barney's newest relationship. She thought, and thought, and thought, and sure, she had _some _ideas. A couple of which were just a tad unrealistic..._

"So I've been thinking... How hard would it be exactly to invent some false, foreign company and then convince her they're offering her a job abroad that she just can't refuse? Say, in, like, Denmark, or..."

_Some of which we didn't quite understand..._

"This is foolproof, guys, if I can _just _get the nun, the circus trainer and the expert in beekeeping on board then she'll be out of our hair by Lil's birthday."

_And some of which were just, in a word, bizarre..._

"So, I dress as a peasant and sell her the hair dye, promising her it's black, she uses it, ends up with bright green hair, and bam! Barney's freaked out and running for the Scherbatsky hills quicker than you can say _legen_... Wait for it-"

"Robin, I hate to say this, but not every problem these days can be solved with the plot of a Canadian children's book written in the 1900s." Lily sighed, shooting a pained look at her friend as Ted entered the apartment.

"What's up guys?" He smiled, "I heard the word 'Canadian' so I can only assume we're tormenting Robin right now?"

"Yeah." Robin said dully, at the exact same moment that Lily insisted, "Not _tormenting, _giving constructive advice!"

"Ugh, you know what? Forget it." Robin said dejectedly, "I give up. I might as well just accept that there's nothing I can do about this, cut my hair, get my five dogs back, move into a rickety house next to an abandoned railway station and live out my days sitting in a rocking chair on my porch pondering spinsterhood. It's fine!"

"Wow." Ted said almost dreamily, "First of all, I think we need to take a moment to digest _that _image... Ok, done. Now, back in the real world, what the hell? Isn't there also the slightest chance that you could just get over this? Come on, Robin, when was the last time you saw Barney, properly?"

"Well, I've seen him in passing, but I guess the last time I spent any time with him I was kissing him goodbye in the diner six and a half weeks ago... My god, that's ridiculous."

"You're right, it is." Lily agreed, "And I see what Ted's saying, if you haven't spent any time with him just trying to be friends, then how do you know it'll be that bad? You could take one look at him and realise you're over him, that you really can be friends, and all of this will have been for nothing!"

"But Lil, I-"

"You've been in love before, Robin." Ted cut her off, "And you managed to get over that, even though it was hard. Hell, you got over you and I-"

"I know, Ted, but you and I were never what me and Barney are! I'm sorry, and sure it was hard, but this was building up between he and I for three years before we-"

"Okaaaay!" He said loudly, "Way to rub it in there, Scherbatsky. Come on, you won't know unless you try. Just come down to the bar, have a drink, if Barney's there he's there, if he's not he's not."

"Nuh-uh. I don't wanna go down there."

"Guys, we _have _to get down to the bar, _now_!" It was Marshall, excitedly hurtling into the apartment with an almost maniacal grin on his face.

"What is it, baby?"

"You might not believe this. This may blow your tiny minds wide open. You guys may want to find a seat, because this is a-"

"MARSHALL!"

"Okay, okay. It may just be a rumour, and I will be _super _bummed if it is, but I heard that they've started putting salted peanuts out on the tables."

"What?" Ted exclaimed, "They got rid of the crappy plain dry roasted ones? _Yes, _dude, we've been shooting hints at Carl for _years _about this!"

"I know, right. So we all have to get down there pretty much instantaneously."

"Aw, baby, that is exciting," Lily said a little sadly, "But Robin's refusing to go down there, and we just can't leave her on her own, can we now?" She was over enunciating her words, pouting and batting her eyelashes frantically in Robin's direction, who sighed.

"Look, guys, I'm fine. You just go down, I'm happy up here by myself."

"Oh, pleeeeease, Robin?" Marshall pined, "Let's go to the bar."

_Once again, we were met with a stubborn "no" from Robin, and so, your Aunt Lily did the last thing she could think of. She sunk lower than she'd ever sunk before. And I'm not proud of it, but soon, we were all joining in._

"EVERYBODY COME AND PLAY, THROW EVERY LAST CARE AWAY. LET'S GO TO THE BAR... TODAY!"

And after sixteen repeated renditions of this, Robin could take it no more.

"_Alright_! I'll come to the freakin' bar if you'll all stop murdering those cats to the tune of my one hit wonder."

This was met with a triumphant "Yes!" from her three friends, and Robin rolled her eyes.

"I can't believe you've all blackmailed me into this. But if this is really happening I just have to go put some more makeup on, if he's-"

"But Robin, Barney prefers you without makeup, you know that." Lily tried to tell her, but it made no difference as, as Robin opened her mouth to reply, she was cut off by the door being thrown open.

"Oh my GOD guys, did you hear about the peanuts?" Robin was quite literally bowled over, as she dropped backwards onto the couch at the sight of him. She knew it was ridiculous, knew she was acting like a dumb teenager. But this was _Barney, _for goodness sake, and she felt her face heating up as she took the sight of him in. Nothing had changed, not a thing, but it was just everything that made him _him _that she had missed. The tailored suit, the impeccable hair, the sparkle in his eyes, the grin... God, she _had_ missed him.

"Yeah dude, Marshall told us." Ted smiled, as Robin's head spun. Barney hadn't noticed her yet, but she was sure when he did something had to happen. Slow, romantic music, perhaps? Their eyes meeting, him standing in front of her, taking her hand, his gaze softening...?

Maybe not.

"Then let's get down there! This is the greatest thing of all - Oh, hey Scherbatsky. Didn't see ya there, long time no see - Of all time!"

He had barely glanced at her... And things didn't change a bit over the course of the night. As they went to sit down, she was the first to slide into the booth, hoping that perhaps he would slide in next to her, but instead he took the end seat straight away. When Lily spotted that the hottish guy at the bar was giving Robin the eye, Barney didn't bat an eyelid, even when she shook her head, shot him a very un-subtle look and told them she wasn't interested. When, as a last resort, she managed to slip a story about when they'd been a couple into the conversation, she glanced his way to see if it was stirring any kind of emotion in him, but no. He was just casually sipping his scotch and listening with the rest of them. This _sucked._

And it kept on sucking, but ever the professional, Robin managed to keep it together, laughing through gritted teeth on occasion and making frequent bathroom stops to get away from him but nonetheless, coping. Until she arrived.

She hadn't met Mary Jane before, but somehow, the second she walked into the bar, Robin knew it was her. She had striking features, copper coloured hair falling in 40s style waves, sparkling green eyes, an effortlessly glamourous dress sense, and that signature Marc Jacobs handbag swinging from her arm... This was her alright. And this still sucked.

Barney's face lit up as she reached their booth and sat down, "Hello!" She said in a chirpy voice with an English accent, "Everyone alright? Hi Barney."

"Hey, baby." He grinned, leaning in to kiss her, and Robin had to stop herself from physically recoiling as her stomach did backflips.

"So you must be the famous Robin!" She greeted her genuinely, reaching over to shake her hand, "Lovely to meet you. And if you don't mind me saying, I think your name is _beautiful._"

"Um, thanks, I guess." Robin managed, looking at Barney, who was looking at Mary Jane, his arm resting on the back of her seat, "Yours too."

"Ah, thank you." She smiled, seemingly unaware of Robin's mere politeness, "I'm not so sure about it."

"You kidding?" Marshall said, "Dude, MJ is like the girl from Spiderman. That's awesome."

The whole group laughed, apart from Robin, "I guess so. And hey, she had red hair too! Although I think it's safe to say I'm not as pretty as Kirsten Dunst-"

"Pfft!" Barney spluttered, waving a hand, "She's about as pretty as a dead dog compared to you."

Robin wasn't sure quite how long she could take this - despite wanting to hate the girl's guts, she had to admit she was nice, that the group loved her, that Barney seemed happy... Ugh. She swiftly downed the rest of her scotch, partly for relief and partly as an excuse to get away from them for a few minutes.

But, just a few seconds after she stood up to get another drink, Barney did the same to get a drink for his - she could hardly stand to think it - girlfriend.

"Hey." He said casually as he joined her at the bar, "You've been a little quiet."

Robin swallowed, replying quietly enough that he might not hear her and trying her hardest to avoid his gaze, "I wonder why."

Barney looked a little puzzled, but shook his head slightly to himself and changed the subject, "You know," he smirked, "I think that guy over there really _is _checking you out. I know that look - if you want it, it is _on._"

Robin didn't smile, unable to take how casual he was being, how easy he seemed to find it to act like they were friends as usual. She let out a long, slow breath in an attempt to control herself, before fixing him with a hard look.

"Thanks, _bro._" She bit back, a definite hint of maliciousness in her voice, before downing the drink that Carl had just placed in front of her.

_Screw it. _She slammed the empty glass down on the bar, no longer looking at Barney, and stormed her way over to the guy eyeing her up at the end of the bar.

Less than two minutes of conversation later, and she was heading home with him, leaving an oblivious Mary Jane, a worried Ted, Lily and Marshall, and a confused and concerned Barney in her wake.


	3. No Biggie

**Hi guys! Sorry about the long delay on this one, but I was away for a week and then had the chaos of starting a new school, but hopefully things will die down a bit and I can get back to updating regularly now :) Thank you so much to my reviewers, your comments are really lovely and make me want to write more - any more reviews are very very much appreciated! Hope you enjoy :D**

**Donna xxx**

**PS As of a few hours ago, I'm almost totally caught up on DVDs - series one to four and three quarters of five all watched :) Best show ever!**

Chapter Three – No Biggie

"Barney." He was, by his estimation, ninety nine per cent asleep and had no intention of waking up for at least another four hours, but the sound of Robin's voice drifting into his dreams was pulling him swiftly towards consciousness.

"Barney?" What the hell? He knew she had to get up ridiculously early for work every morning, but surely she could have just slipped out of bed without waking him, like she usually did.

"Um sleepen sherbsky youva gutimeawork... Nsoodup!" Barney mumbled, pulling the blankets closer around him and yawning, expecting her to simply shoot off to record her show, let him sleep a few more hours, and then surprise him when she got home with something he _knew _he'd enjoy... Until the voice sounded sharply again. In a British accent.

"Barney!" And his eyes snapped open, suddenly feeling totally awake and mortified at what had been running through his mind a moment before. He sat up, looking into the face of Mary Jane, and thanked the lord Prada that his half-asleep mutterings had been too indistinct for her to hear properly - he wasn't sure how the hell he'd have been able to live down calling her 'Scherbatsky'.

"Morning babe, you ok?"

"I'm good, sleepyhead." She replied with a smile, and he noticed for the first time that she was fully dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, "Just letting you know that I've got to be off. I know it's stupidly early but I have to get home, I've got people coming over today and I really need to sort some stuff out."

"No problem." He smiled back, kissing her gently before hauling himself out of bed, "I'll walk you out, I'm awake now." He still felt guilty for what he'd subconsciously done. That was weird, he hadn't been with Robin for over and month and a half, but he'd been _convinced... _Ah well. He figured it must just be the awesome levels in his brain overflowing and not letting him think straight.

As they made their way into the living room, Barney automatically flicked on the TV, forgetting for a moment what time of day it was... And sure enough, her voice rang out in the room clear as day.

"Coming up, is your local coffee house actually a secret branch of CIA headquarters? The answer may surprise you after this."

He smiled to himself, just a little, at seeing Robin sitting up there, somehow managing to look even the slightest bit chirpy at this godamned hour.

"My gosh, isn't that your friend Robin from last night?" Mary Jane exclaimed, and he blinked, having momentarily forgotten she was still waiting to be walked out, "Wow, she looks gorgeous. I never knew she was a journalist."

"Yup," Barney said, closing his eyes for a fraction of a second, "That's... That's Robin, alright."

_Now kids, back in the days when your Aunt Robin worked for _Come On, Get Up New York_, she was an absolute pro when it came to the absurd working hours. She'd simply adapted her sleeping patterns, made sure she had plenty of time to socialise, maintained a positive attitude toward the whole thing... Oh, and took solace in a wicked amount of energy drinks and coffee. So most days, she was fine with it. But not on this occasion._

Robin wasn't sure how she'd made it home that morning. In fact, she wasn't entirely sure she remembered getting up, sneaking out of the hot guy's apartment and going to work, she was so tired - but somehow, she was back at the apartment now, and the news had already been on. Huh.

Finally managing to fit the key in the lock with her eyes almost entirely closed, she practically fell into the apartment, having never felt more exhausted in her life.

"Hey." Ted greeted her from his position on the couch, where he sat in a dressing gown eating cereal as she collapsed beside him. "Good night? You never came home after your encounter with... What was his name?"

"Uughh," Robin moaned, turning her head towards him with bleary eyes, "I don't even remember. I'm _so _not in a good way right now. I had a total of five scotches, no sleep, and some difficult bastard to interview on the show... Not a happy Robin."

"Maybe it's just the job," He looked mildly amused, but she was quite frankly too tired to care, "If you didn't have to be up so early then-"

"It's not the job." She interjected, "It's the whole sleeping with random hotties the night before thing. I'm adding it to the Murtaugh list."

"Dude," Ted smiled, "I know a guy named Stinson who would be ashamed to hear you say that."

_But kids, that didn't quite have the effect I was after. Instead of laughing, your Aunt Robin, well..._

She couldn't help it. Even the mere sound of the name that was driving her so crazy was too much for her, and she felt the dreaded prickle in her eyes, the lump in her throat. This so wasn't happening, she told herself as she covered her face, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Robin, are... Are you _crying?" _Ted had stopped joking now, realised the abnormality of the situation, and was sounding concerned, "Look, I-"

"I'm fine! I'm not!" If there was one thing she couldn't cope with and didn't need, it was pity. See, this was the exact reason she never let herself cry, the whole people feeling sorry for you thing. It _sucked. _And so, as she always did, Robin expertly forced the tears back into their ducts, swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and planted a smile on her face.

"You know, there's no law against admitting to feeling vulnerable once in a while. It's ok if you are."

"Actually, Ted, it isn't." Robin kept the falsely bright smile firmly in place as Ted sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"Well, ok then." He told her as he deposited his dishes through the kitchen hatch and started towards his bedroom, "I have to get to school, you gonna be ok?"

"'Course I am," She lied, "I'm just gonna grab a few hours shut-eye, I'm sure I'll feel better after that."

And to her surprise, she did. At around midday, having had a good four hours uninterrupted sleep and with minimal Stinson-related dreams (an improvement), Robin felt refreshed. She had been ridiculous, she told herself, to get so worked up about him, to act the way she had. Honestly, she thought as she wandered towards the kitchen still in her pyjamas, for a grown woman to go completely giddy at the mere sight of a man was completely-

"Knock knock?" It was him. Oh god, she felt a little light-headed. A blush shot onto her face, her mind suddenly racing, excruciatingly aware of her appearance... _Ah, crap, _Robin thought, _There goes the whole 'over it' thing._

"Hey, Barney." She managed as he stuck his head around the door of the apartment, and he smiled and came all the way in for her to see that he was suited up as always.

"Scherbatsky." He greeted with a little salute, smile still in place, "What up?"

"I could ask you the same."

"Indeed. Well, I myself am just here to spread the word of the awesome, in a Jesus-like manner-"

"Barney!"

"O_kay,_" He pouted, "I'm looking for Ted, he borrowed some gold cufflinks from me which some foreign business dude at work is now demanding back, as it turned out they didn't _technically _belong to me... Something about precious Russian metal, death threats, no biggie."

Robin shook her head fondly, "Seriously, Barney, what do you _do?_"

And, as she would have put decent money on, he merely snorted and waved his hand casually, "Please. So, is Ted here?"

"'Fraid not." She told him, trying her best to sound normal, "He's lecturing today. But we could try calling him, if-?"

"Naah, don't worry about it," Barney smiled, "I'll just not go back to work today, it's fine. And hey, I should have known he wasn't here. As if you'd be wearing your cupcake PJs if Ted was around."

"Uhh!" Robin exclaimed, a slight smirk on her face to match Barney's as she sat down on the couch, "And what would you know about my cupcake pyjamas?"

"Well," He joined her on the couch, his tone playful, "I know that they're your comfiest ones and secretly your favourites, but there's a chocolate sauce stain on the left arm, an unfortunately placed rip around the upper leg area, and that the top button is missing from being undone too roughly."

"Yeah, well I'm holding you responsible for that last one."

"Deservedly so, Scherbatsky, and I humbly apologise. But, other than that... _Lawyered._"

Robin laughed, and it was strange, but the awkwardness she had imagined between them seemed to have completely disappeared in her eyes. It was like she had built him up to be this big, intimidating, godly figure (and thank the lord he had not just heard her mentally use the word _godly _in relation to him) but in the end, he was still just Barney, and she was just Robin. The banter between them was just the same, it was still so easy to spend time with him, just _him._

"Oh, you know me too well. So hey, how's everything been? I know we haven't really... Spoken... In a while."

"Yeah," he agreed, "Good, it's all been good! Same old, same old, to be honest, other than the obvious changes..." Thank god he hadn't expanded on that, she thought, "What about you? I was a little worried last night, after you, you know..."

"Got wasted and took home that random guy? Yeah, that wasn't one of my proudest moments, I have to say."

"Because... Well, I don't mean to pry, but Lily told me that seems to have been happening more regularly of late," _Damnit, Lily! _She thought, "And don't get me wrong, I'm far from being one to condone sex with strangers, but it doesn't seem very... you."

"Well, I..." Suddenly, her throat seemed very dry, and he seemed very real, very serious. Very close. "I've been a little, I don't know..." She sighed heavily, biting her lip, before looking up at him, all traces of a joke in her voice gone. "It's been hard. Really hard."

"Yeah." He said quietly, looking down at his hands, which were subconsciously fiddling in his lap, "I get that." It seemed so quiet now, and she wondered how the atmosphere had so drastically dropped, "Do you... Do you wanna talk about it, or...?"

"Barney, I think we've proved we're not so good at the whole 'serious talk' thing." She smiled slightly, "If I remember rightly, we'd always just end up having sex instead."

He let out a splutter, seemingly unable to help himself, and it was like someone had flicked a switch back to 'on', the tension between them disappearing instantly as they laughed, "Well, Scherbatsky, I don't know about that being an option so much these days."

"No," She agreed, a smile masking her true feelings on that matter, "But what I _could _do with right now is grabbing some lunch, if you're interested?"

"Hold that thought, Canada." He said, grabbing his phone as it began to bleep and vibrate on the table, "Go for Barney. Oh hey, sweetie!"

Robin's felt as though a weight had been dropped into her stomach. It was her.

"Um, lunch? You mean right now?" Barney bit his lip, looking a little apologetically at Robin. She swallowed, forcing down the lump that had risen for the second time that day, and planted a smile on her face to mask her disappointment.

"Go." She said in what she hoped was a light tone of voice, "We can easy go another time, just go."

And so he did. Once he said goodbye to Mary Jane, he stood up, and so did Robin, slightly nervously.

"Well, I'll have to run then... But will you be down at the bar later? It's been good catching up - forgot how awesome you are, Scherbatsky."

She let out a laugh, trying to hide the bitterness, and, apprehensively, nodded. "What the hell. Yeah, I'll see you later." There were a few seconds of indecisiveness from them both, of awkward eye contact, before at the exact same moment they both stepped forward into a tight hug.

Robin felt her eyes prickling again at the scent of his expensive aftershave, at the feeling of his arms around her, and scolded herself for being such a girl. But she couldn't help it. She would have happily stayed there forever.

But after a few short seconds, he was the one to pull away.


	4. Carelessness

**Hi guys! Sorry for the long delay, I've been stupidly busy and not very well, but that's beside the point. Thanks so much for the reviews, and I really hope you enjoy chapter four! Feedback would be so so much appeciated :)**

**Donna xxx**

Chapter Four - Carelessness

_Now kids, you know your Aunt Lily has always loved birthdays. Whether it was Marshall's, Barney's, Robin's... The pizza delivery guy's, Karl the bartender's, Mrs. Hepton in their building's, that random guy she met in a club once... But hey, we never really complained, given that I got two surprise parties in a row. Only this year, Lily had gone above and beyond in planning her own._

"Come _on, _guys, this is going to be awesome!"

"_No." _Barney and Robin said in unison, both a little surprised at their simultaneous reaction. There was a moment that it seemed only the two of them caught, as they glanced sideways at each other, smiling slightly and knowing exactly what the other was thinking, before Lily's voice brought their attention back to the conversation.

"_Please?_" She whined, pouting, "I just know we'll all love it! It's only an hour's drive away, in a _beautiful_ area_-"_

"Leeet me stop you right there, Lily." Barney held up a hand, cutting her off, "I understand that you're exited about your birthday, truly I do. And I'd be very happy to celebrate it along with the rest of the group, somewhere with a roof over our heads and a bed to go back to. But lying in some swamp of a field surrounded by insects with only a piece of cloth for shelter is _not _going to happen."

"Yeah, sorry but I agree, Lily." Robin shrugged honestly, " I don't think camping's a good idea."

"I'll go." Ted offered, also with a shrug, "I have a new camping kettle that my mom gave me and it is to _die _for, this is the perfect chance to try it out!"

"See," Barney grinned at Lily, taking a sip of his drink, "Your gay best friend's going, you don't need _me _there."

Robin gave a splutter of laughter, annoyed with herself for behaving so girlishly and obvious around him... But god, he was _funny._

"What's this about you not going?" Marshall asked deadly seriously as he set down he and Lily's drinks and slid into the booth beside her, "I'm sorry, guys, but we're not taking no for an answer on this one. Basically, you come, or we break your shins."

Barney sniffed in a mock-macho manner, "Dude, I could totally live with that."

"In your sleep."

"Not a big deal."

"And we'll take your suit-jamas." At that, his eyes widened, and Barney gave a little yelp, clutching at his tie in horror as he gave a whisper.

"You wouldn't." He stood up slightly, facing Marshall across the table, who joined him on his feet.

"Oh, I would."

"You know you're on dangerous territory here, Eriksen." He hissed.

"Yet somehow I'm not feeling the fear, _Stinson-"_

"Ok_ay_, guys, far enough now!" Lily said, slipping into primary school teacher mode as she stood up and pushed the two men back down on their opposite sides of the booth, "Barney, you're coming on my birthday camping trip, no questions asked. However, baby, you're not to take Barney's suit-jamas. You know how special they are to him and that would be mean."

"_Fine._" The two of them muttered darkly, still glaring defiantly with their arms folded.

"Awesome." Lily said, "Robin, you're coming as well."

"No, I'm not." Robin insisted. Damnit, Lily was good - she had thought she had been forgotten about and might just be off the hook.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not!"

_And kids, this continued for a large portion of the night. We kept thinking they were done with it, but then every so often there would be a pause in the conversation and Lily and Robin, who had been talking quite civilly, would break right back into the incessant:_

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

_And it went on. And on and on and on and on, until finally, we all thought they'd given up - it had been around twenty minutes since the last round, which was the record so far._

Robin was laughing, genuinely laughing harder than she had in a long time, and so was Barney. She could barely even remember what he had said, but the banter and rapport between them was truly back now with such a force that she could barely contain herself. It just felt so good to be back in his company, so natural and easy, and she was starting to think things might just turn out okay between them.

Until he waved at someone over her shoulder near the door, a huge smile on his face that confirmed Robin's fears that it was the person she least wanted to see.

"Oh, hey guys, I forgot to tell you Mary Jane would be stopping by." He said casually, and was met with smiles from three members of the group. Which left just one.

"Evidently." Robin blurted in dark voice before she could stop herself, "Way to brighten up the evening, huh."

He frowned at her slightly, looking a little hurt, and opened his mouth, but by that time Mary Jane had reached their table, and was greeting them all with a grin. And so, Barney shut his mouth, and kept it shut, greeting his girlfriend as she sat down and carrying on the evening.

But, as the six of them sat and chatted, joking away as always, his eye was frequently drawn to Robin, his mind unable to stop wandering. What could she have meant by that? Did Robin not _like _her? He had thought they seemed to get on fine, and Mary Jane had never said anything to offend Robin, which could only leave one possible reason as to why she would be so dismayed to see her...

But no. Robin couldn't be jealous, she'd gotten over Barney in less time than it had taken him to run the New York Marathon (which, not that he was bragging, was pretty freakin' fast) - that was obvious by the carelessness with which she'd screwed all those guys. But still, she hadn't been comfortable around him until just recently... Oh god, couldshe want him back? And if she _was _jealous of Mary Jane, how exactly did he feel about that? Did he want to get back together with her? It would mean blowing it all with Mary Jane for such a huge gamble...

Oh god, this was all too much. This chick was going to be the death of him, Barney thought as he downed the rest of his drink, hundreds of thoughts all trying to crowd his mind at the same time. This was ridiculous. After Shannon, he had vowed never to let a girl turn him into such a mess again. But somehow, this seemed even bigger than her... Dude, he needed to do some thinking. But more importantly, he needed another drink.

"You ok, man?" Ted asked as he got to his feet, and Barney fixed his long-perfected fake smile on his face.

"Yeah, just getting a refill." He said smoothly, gesturing around the group with his glass, "Everyone ok?"

"Another beer would be great." Lily said, and Barney nodded.

"Beer for Lily, and-"

_And this, kids, was when your Uncle Barney made one of the biggest faux-pas in the history of the world. It was literally so awkward I almost can't bring myself to tell you, but I will, even though it might mean you never speak to him again. Just remember, before you judge, the guy had a lot on his mind._

"Beer for Lily, and-"

Looking back, he never quite understood why he did it, how the hell he could have been such a mindless idiot. It was like a reflex, coming to him automatically from some distant time when they were dating, something that simply slipped out without him thinking. But for whatever reason, he turned to Robin, whose glass was almost empty.

"-And how 'bout you baby, do you want another drink?"

Robin froze, apparently registering what Barney had just said at the same time as he did. The entire group was silent as his eyes widened, a look of horror appearing on his face as he quickly averted his eyes toward Mary Jane.

"I, uh..." He stuttered, "I was talking to you, of course I was! Totally, um, you know when you just... Just look in another direction when you're speaking? Like, I was asking Mary Jane, but I... it, um..."

But it was no use - they all knew what he had accidentally done, and how much explaining he now had to do. Robin still couldn't bring herself to say a word, or even look at Mary Jane's face as Barney swiftly changed his tactic.

"In fact," He yawned widely, "I'm pretty beat, so I'd better leave that drink, have to get off, big early day in the morning so..." Another pointed yawn, "WellguysI'dbetterbegoingsoI'llseeyoualltomorrowthenbyeeee!" He garbled, before throwing a twenty down on the table and literally sprinting out of the bar.

Robin still didn't look up after he'd gone, as Mary Jane, looking put out, got to her feet in the most dignified way she could manage, and politely said her goodbyes. Only when she had gone did Robin finally look up, biting her lip.

"Sweetie, are you ok?" Lily said, her worried expression matching Ted and Marshall's, "That was..."

"Horrifically awkward?" Robin supplied, "Yeah."

"I'm sure he just..." Ted started, but didn't know how to finish, "I mean, it would have been an automatic thing, I-"

"Yeah, I know." Robin nodded, forcing a smile on her face as she forced the lump in her throat down, "It was nothing."

"Well, hey." Lily said after a few moments, breaking the silence, "At least you have my birthday camping trip to look forward to to cheer you up!"

_It was beginning again._

"Lily, for god's sake! I'm not going to tell you again, I'm _not going_!"

"Yes, you freaking are!"

"Give it up!" She almost yelled, "There is nothing in the world you can possibly do to change my mind! I'm not going camping, and that is just _that!_"

_Two weeks later, kids, and your Aunt Robin, Lily and Marshall and I were in the car on our way to the campsite._


End file.
